Ugly Xmas Sweaters for Women

What exactly is an ugly Christmas sweater, your great aunt asks? Well, it’s the Christmas-themed sweater any middle-aged female teacher from the mid-80s to mid-90s wore every day of December. Bonus points if the said sweater has 3D adornments hanging from Rudolf or can be expertly paired with a turtleneck. In all seriousness, ugly sweaters are big business now. They are so the rage that even thrift stores are capitalizing on their circa 1992 sweaters that used to never leave the bargain bin by charging what a department store would charge, and it is working.

If you have and ugly Christmas party to attend because who doesn’t, you are going to want to find the ultimate ugly Christmas sweater that will knock the socks off all the other partiers. If you don’t know where to start, never fear, this article is here.

Vintage Ugly
If you are genuinely committed to the ugly sweater, going old school is your best option. You will find these oldies but goodies at your local thrift store. Forgetting that thrift stores know they have a hot commodity in their ugly sweaters, so they overcharge for a shirt with a spaghetti stain and a prominent mothball smell, vintage finds will guarantee that no one else will have the same sweater as you. Even better, nothing gets uglier than maroon poinsettia collars and a knitted Christmas bear cardigan vest from 1989.

Merry and Bright
Some of the flashiest ugly sweaters featured at holiday parties across the nation are literally flashing. From battery-operated string lights that drape over a winter scene to the classic red nose of Rudolph, these sweaters say festive and fun. If you want to light up your holiday party with a sweater that is a party in itself, pick up an animated ugly Christmas sweater this holiday season.

Rated PG-13
Of course, if there are going to be overly flashy Christmas sweaters, there will be overly flashy Christmas sweaters that are on the naughty side. If you want your sweater to go in this direction, make sure to wear it at adult-only events. You do not want to be the one to ruin Santa for some poor, unsuspecting child.

There are also cutesy ugly sweaters, which may sound like an oxymoron, but they do exist. These are for the women who still want to look cute or trendy but still fall in line with the ugly sweater crowd. Cutesy ugly sweaters usually have a classic or argyle sweater pattern with bright greens, reds, and whites. Bonus points if you can find a sweater with snowflakes or reindeers. Even though these styles of sweaters are pretty trendy, they are still part of the ugly Christmas sweater family.

Spoof Sweaters
Perhaps, most popular with the hipster crowd, these ugly Christmas sweaters typically feature a spoof or joke image. A popular, but hard to find style is one that spoofs or mimics the classic 80s style of portrait where the subject has been photographed from two angles. Usually, the subject has a serious look on their face, as light rays shoot out from behind them. If you can find the one that features Santa, you are guaranteed to win the ugly Christmas sweater contest, hands down.

No matter your style or taste, there is an ugly Christmas sweater for you. Just remember the more gaudy and ugly, the more majestic. You don’t want to skimp on the outlandish when it comes to ugly Christmas sweaters.